The Radio Show

The official archive of all available ComputerTalk with Dave Mason radio shows. Spend some time with Dave. Listen to a full show or explore clips by topic.

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ComputerTalk with Dave Mason show archive

Clips by topic

3,475 unique clips. Each clip appears in one section. Historical conversations, not current advice. Full episodes remain available separately by date.

Humor

315 clips, strongest first.

I would be a millionaire if I charged for every answer · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave and Evil Steve imagine helping a frightened caller when Dr. Dave remembers an email suggesting he charge one hundred dollars every time he answers a question for free. Their response, that he would be a millionaire but cannot do that, is a funny glimpse of how naturally he gave people his time and expertise.

1:00 · Humor

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Forty-five Hungry Man dinners · Proposed air date:

The novelty of ordering food by computer becomes a family conversation when Dr. Dave says their mother already has groceries delivered and reports that the produce arrives unbruised. Evil Steve imagines his own six-month order as 45 frozen turkey dinners, liters of Pepsi, pizzas, milk and boxes of Cap'n Crunch, with no fresh produce necessary.

1:54 · Humor

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Make fun of yourself first · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave and Evil Steve imagine Microsoft embracing its own “dark side” reputation by putting Bill Gates into a Darth Vader parody. Beneath the joke is a practiced lesson: when people already know what can be mocked about you, make the joke first and take the wind out of the attack.

0:43 · Humor

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Seasonal toppings for the Computer Talk pizza · Proposed air date:

The arrival music announces the official Computer Talk pizza, and Dr. Dave and Evil Steve thank the local restaurant that knows their order without being told. They extend the bit by claiming the show has separate summer, fall, Christmas, New Year and spring topping schedules.

1:28 · Humor

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Twenty-five light-years was not outside the galaxy · Proposed air date:

After confidently arguing that decades of Computer Talk broadcasts must already have left the Milky Way, Dr. Dave and Evil Steve finally study the numbers supplied by listener Robert. The galaxy is vastly larger than their intuition allowed, and the brothers turn the correction into an affectionate on-air argument about scale, the Orion Arm and just how little twenty-five light-years really is.

2:22 · Humor

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Walking up and talking is my Facebook · Proposed air date:

As MySpace and Facebook try to reach people over thirty, Dr. Dave and Evil Steve wonder whether adults simply grow out of social-networking sites. Evil Steve says his Facebook is walking up and talking to someone face to face, then lists email, phones, get-togethers and family occasions before Dr. Dave reveals that he does, of course, have a MySpace page.

0:55 · Humor

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Technical support as an adult timeout · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave warns that frustrated remarks made while waiting for technical support may be recorded, then admits that the long hold often gives him enough time to think through the problem and find the answer himself. Evil Steve calls the wait an adult timeout designed to calm callers and reduce support costs.

2:00 · Humor

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DJ Fresh sings “Hail to the Redskins” · Proposed air date:

Cowboys fan DJ Fresh calls from the road to honor his wager, reluctantly sings along with Washington’s fight song and accepts the brothers’ teasing before they thank him for being a good sport.

2:53 · Humor

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Twinkies as an investment · Proposed air date:

With Hostess production stopping, Dr. Dave and Evil Steve joke that Twinkies may be a better store of value than gold: easy to keep, nearly indestructible and already hidden in family stashes. The escalating comparison captures their improvised on-air chemistry.

2:25 · Humor

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The phone system that lost Rob · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave is certain he was already speaking with Rob, the crew cannot make the caller appear, and a software demonstration fills the escalating confusion. After the phone stack is rebooted, a listener calls pretending to host a show with the same broken server and asks Dr. Dave for the obvious solution.

5:22 · Humor

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Brain stimulation and the octagonal box · Proposed air date:

A study about electrical brain stimulation and mathematical performance becomes a long piece of brotherly improvisation. Dr. Dave and Evil Steve question what the experiment measured, joke about counting on fingers and toes and invent an octagonal box that supposedly turns arithmetic into a physical activity, preserving the spontaneous humor of the live show.

4:10 · Humor

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Everything is number one · Proposed air date:

Overwhelmed by dozens of open windows and subjects he wants to cover, Dr. Dave asks how he can prioritize when everything is number one. He says his list runs horizontally with ten thousand number ones, and Evil Steve solves it by borrowing software version numbers.

1:11 · Humor

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Experts still have to follow the rules · Proposed air date:

Minutes before airtime, Dr. Dave updates a touchpad driver and disables the controls on his show laptop. He laughs that expertise can tempt people to ignore basic rules, accepts Evil Steve's very simple workaround and keeps broadcasting with a wireless mouse and touch controls.

2:23 · Humor

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Guided tours of the Computer Talk bunker · Proposed air date:

Evil Steve questions whether the bunker can really be called a studio, and the brothers settle on a storage facility containing radio equipment. They describe everything as strategically piled, joke that an intruder would not know what to steal and explain why friends and family receive guided tours: even Dr. Dave sometimes needs help finding his way back to his seat.

2:40 · Humor

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Nothing like calling your brother stupid on a national show · Proposed air date:

A tiny argument over saying “internet” or “the internet” becomes a lesson in how small language details change how a person sounds. Dr. Dave and Evil Steve happily call each other stupid on a national show, laugh that their mother is not there to stop them and settle back into their familiar brotherly rhythm.

0:56 · Humor

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Pizza timing and radio professionalism · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave explains why pizza arriving just before a segment is frustrating: it sits in front of him while he has to keep talking. The brothers thank the restaurant and delivery driver while joking that finishing a slice before returning from break is part of being a radio professional.

1:15 · Humor

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The official Computer Talk pizza arrives · Proposed air date:

A delivery interrupts the technology news as Dr. Dave announces that the official Computer Talk pizza has arrived from a local Tucson restaurant. He thanks the people who brought it and jokes that a full two hour show in the middle of the day requires massive doses of mozzarella.

0:30 · Humor

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The power of positive intimidation · Proposed air date:

Returning caller Don reports that the computer he called about two weeks earlier simply worked the next morning. Dr. Dave credits the power of positive intimidation, joking that troubled office computers sometimes straighten out as soon as he walks into the building without even touching them.

1:42 · Humor

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A data-recovery handoff looks like a drug deal · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave describes occasionally meeting a client in a parking lot to return a recovered drive. An unmarked box changes hands, payment follows and he and Evil Steve laugh about how suspicious a perfectly ordinary service call might look to anyone watching.

0:43 · Humor

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An unexpected compliment for Dave's voice · Proposed air date:

Dr. Dave says a client unexpectedly complimented the voice he recorded for its telephone menu. Evil Steve immediately turns the praise into a joke about unpaid royalties and somebody using the prompts to construct another radio show.

1:51 · Humor

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Full episode archive

Browse by year, then month, to find the episodes from that month.

442 proposed broadcast dates, plus 2 undated entries. Dates are based on archive filenames and may be approximate. Some broadcasts survive as separate parts or incomplete recordings.

2015 (15 dates)
May
April
March
February
January
2014 (12 dates)
July
June
March
February
January
2013 (26 dates)
December
November
October
September
July
June
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January
2012 (35 dates)
December
November
October
September
August
June
May
April
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January
2011 (29 dates)
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
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January
2010 (33 dates)
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
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March
2009 (42 dates)
October
September
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June
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April
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January
2008 (52 dates)
December
November
October
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July
June
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January
2007 (52 dates)
December
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January
2006 (52 dates)
December
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January
2005 (52 dates)
December
November
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September
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May
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January
2004 (40 dates)
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
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February
January
2003 (1 date)
April
2000 (1 date)
March
Date unknown (2)